I don't know why in the world I hate Christmas. It just doesn't seem right.
The hustle, the bustle, the frequency show of muscle,
when shopping breaks into a fight.
The crazy traffic, the endless plastic, watch the holiday magic disappear.
I don't know why in the world I hate Christmas more every year.

I don't know why in the world I hate Christmas. It just doesn't seem fair.
The yearly resumption of ridiculous consumption
to prove to our loved ones we care.
The chestnuts burning, the snowplows churning,
the madness returning yet again.
I don't know why in the world can't wait for Christmas to end.

Christmas music starting before Thanksgiving weekend,
Santa on the TV just won't quit.
Parents are bombarded every forty-five seconds
with commercials for the latest plastic...
stuff that breaks on Christmas morning.

Why in the world I hate Christmas, it's kind of hard to explain.
The one time of year when our families gather near,
so we can drive each other insane.
'Tis the season to abandon all reason.
It's like I'm committing treason when I say,
"I don't know why in the world I wish that Christmas would just go away!"

A reindeer with a nose that probably radioactive...
Mistletoe with berries that can kill...
And what could cause a person to find fruitcake attractive?
And would it be to much to ask if we could
stop with all the pa-rum-pum-pum-ing?

Why in the world I hate Christmas, what's wrong with a little excess?
The holly, the bells, whatever friggin' sells
provokes my inner Grinch to express.
I can't take it. I'm not gonna fake it. I don't think that I'll make it through.
Each year the worst of the holidays I rediscover.
364 days not enough to recover.
I don't know why in the world I hate Christmas as much as I do